8 - Last Night

To start, I'll just mention that I've been up since 5 AM. It is now 4:30 PM... This is retarded.

Yesterday I was just sitting at home, watching porn and stuff. Y'know, the usual business. Then my friend Corrie calls me to hang out before we head over to a party at our friend Cody's place. So I'm all like,

" k "

So Corrie and I pretty much sat around outside talking about gross AIDS-ridden girls for 20 minutes. The party was kinda lame for awhile, but eventually had a couple dozen people at the house, at least. After only two hours Corrie had effectively passed out from drinking, which is hilarious. My buddy Mitch showed up after awhile, which gave me a boner... or at least a chubby. I can't remember. Either way, I was excited to see Mitch, despite the fact that I saw him at the exact same house about a week ago.

I met a few new people there, which was nice, and I left at around 2:00. I was a bit worried about how late it was, because lately I've been trying to sleep like a normal person. My plan went way the fuck off course.

I fell asleep pretty quick, and woke up a couple times for some water and shit. But at approximately 5:00 AM, I decided that instead of constant trips to the bathroom for water, I'd get a bottled water from the fridge. The bottled water was significantly colder and made me feel like shitting my pants for some reason, so that kind of kept me up for awhile. I started to get annoyed by a strange high-pitched ringing coming from my computer. This ringing has literally been going on for months and I just ignored it or tried tuning it out until now. It turns out my broken printer was still plugged in and was making this butt-fuck annoying sound for months. Once I fixed that issue, I got a text from my phone, which woke me up again. And after that, I got a call from a still-drunk Corrie asking what the fuck happened.

"You passed out. Alright, see ya." That's all I remember from that phone call.

It had been an hour after the call, and I was still awake. It was six-fucking-thirty in the morning. I played some games on my iPod before I tried sleeping again at 7. It didn't fucking work. My room was either too hot, which forced me to turn on the fan, or it was too cold, which made me turn off the fan. Plus, my cat's an annoying bastard and wouldn't stop meowing in my god damn ear. I got another call from Corrie at 8:30 asking again what happened last night.

"You passed out. Alright see ya."

I was scared that I was gonna shit in my bed too. Drinking does some weird stuff to my bowels, cause I was farting so much this morning. It was so weird. I only remember key events this morning, but there must've been at least two hours of me just laying in bed like a vegetable staring at the sunrise. It was pretty cool to see the sun come up though.

"Is this real life?"