20 - My Big Gay Birthday Adventure

I turned 18 on the 11th! I'm only writing about it now because I've been in a post-drunk haze for awhile and completely forgot to blog about it. Prepare for a long post.

I had originally planned to go to a pub called Dick's to celebrate, but because of Canadian Thanksgiving, my plans got butt-fucked. The thing is, since it was the day before my actual birthday, I planned to go to the bar at midnight so that I would technically be 18. I didn't want to do it on the night of my birthday, because the long weekend would have been over by then, and I didn't want to exclude people who had jobs or school to go to.

So on Sunday (the 10th), I had my mind set on going to Dicks... until someone reminded me that it was Thanksgiving weekend. I called the pub, and found out they closed at 6:00pm because of this. Well, shit. So I casually asked my mom if I could throw a party at the house, and she seemed okay with it. So that problem was easily solved.

I just kind of sat on the couch watching T.V. with a few of my friends until the other half of the people showed up. These people were from Cochrane, who I originally met in the Dominican Republic back in July. I nearly ripped my pants from the erection I got from how excited I was that they showed up. We basically just loaded up on alcohol and played sociables for awhile. A couple of my friends had left by the time the rest of us decided it would be a good idea to walk over to McDonald's for some food.

The nearest McDonald's was only about a 10 minute walk away. As we walked by my old middle school, we found a group of kids hanging around. After chatting it up with the youngsters, we continued our journey for greasy edibles. We walked about 30 seconds before finding another pack of kids lurking around at night.

There were two girls and some guy, who quickly left to go home, leaving the girls at our disposal (That sounds a bit perverse, but really.. there were like seven drunk guys. What do you expect?). Likewise, we started talking to them. It wasn't so much all of us talking to them, but more the guys from Cochrane. So these two girls that we just met decided to tag along as we went to McDonald's. What would normally be a 10 minute walk, turned into... probably 20 minutes.

Since we obviously didn't drive there, we had a genius fucking idea to create our own "Invisible Van". So we stood behind one of the cars lined up in the drive-thru, and arranged ourselves into a similar seating arrangement to that of a van. Without a doubt, we fooled everybody.

A couple cars pulled up behind us, but we generously let them by, since the lady at the window refused to serve us, because we had a transparent method of transportation and she just couldn't fathom the possibility. While "parked" behind another car, my friend Jared started running around the other cars in line, dancing. He would repeatedly throw his hand in the air, pointing in every direction, and say "Yeaahh!" casually. I think this went on until the cops showed up. The police cruiser pulled up behind us and started flashing its lights.

"Oh shit. Guys. Don't move. We're in an invisible van. Stay where you are."

"You, in the grey hoodie!" The cop called out.

Jared was put in the back of the cop car. I think we agreed that the invisible van idea wasn't working, so we quickly dispersed and started to walk away as the cop was talking to Jared. As we went around the corner, 2 more cops cars were just pulling in. I was pretty fucking scared, until I remembered I was 18 and wasn't doing anything illegal... I think. But I was worried that Jared would be arrested... He lived in a completely different city too, so I knew it wouldn't end too well. It wasn't long 'till he was let out, and he explained what happened.

There was a taxi in the drive-thru as Jared was dancing, and the driver had called the cops saying that he was jumping on his car and swearing. Stupid shit like that. The Chief of Police, or whoever the fuck it was, thought "THIS IS A JOB FOR THREE POLICE CARS!" and sent them to arrest Jared. But as Jared was being put in the back of the car, he still had an opened beer in his pocket. It spilled all over the side of his pants. He could hear the cop confirming with the taxi driver on Jared's identity. This is where Jared heard him describe what he claimed Jared was doing, which was completely false.

Jared 2.0

So in short, we walked in the rain for 20 minutes for nothing. And we had to walk back to my house, to top it off. I remember going to bed pretty quick once we got home. I woke up just before noon, and most of the guys were awake watching "The Hangover". Kind of convenient, now that I think about it. My mom prepared a huge feast filled with pizza and other munchies while we watched the movie. Once we were all awake, we just sat down and played with Lego for about 2 hours.